Over 50 and looking for a new job? Avoid these 8 resume mistakes - 02/26/2022
When was the last time you overhauled your resume? As an older, more experienced job hunter, it’s not enough to simply change a few dates and descriptions when you start looking for a new position. The resume style and design that got you in the door years ago can make you look downright prehistoric now.
It’s tough enough out there already: Unemployed job hunters age 55 to 64 spend a median of 34.5 weeks looking for work, vs 22.2 weeks for workers of all ages, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reports.
And in a recent AARP survey of workers 45 and older, three-quarters cited age discrimination as a reason they weren’t confident they could find a new job in short order.
To make sure you don’t look like a dinosaur in your field, don’t make these eight mistakes on your resume.
Mistake No. 1: The format
is tired and dull
An old fashioned, black-and-white resume won’t cut it anymore, says Louise Kursmark, executive resume writer and co-author of Modernize Your Resume.
Christopher Ward, the co-founder of Myer Resumes, agrees: “Society is becoming more visual.”
To give your resume a modern look, add a splash of color to the section headings or incorporate a colorful personal logo. Instead of using Times New Roman, pick a contemporary font like Calibri, Cambria, Palatino, or Verdana—all of which are standard typefaces, so they’ll translate just fine between operating systems.
But stick to one
font. Also, leave some white space on the page to make your resume easier to
read, suggests Kursmark.
Mistake No. 2: You list every job you’ve ever had
Your resume is a way to sell yourself to employers, not your complete biography. “Recounting unrelated experience from the distant past is a surefire way to make your resume seem dated,” says Scott Vedder, a Fortune 100 recruiter and author of Signs of a Great Resume. “There’s no law of resumes that says you must include every job you’ve ever had.”
As a general guideline, only highlight jobs from the past 10 to 15 years. The caveat? “Include a quick nod to a job from long ago when it relates to the opportunity you’re pursuing,” says Vedder.
For example, skip your fast food job in college, but, he adds, “an application for an HR role at a major food and beverage outlet may be well-served by referencing prior experience in the field.”
This culling will also help you keep your resume to no more than two pages, Ward’s recommended max (one page is even better).
Mistake No. 3: You brag of skills that are passé
Employers are looking for professionals who keep their skills fresh. “Stating you’re proficient on software or a program that is no longer commonly used probably isn’t relevant in today’s market,” says Vedder.
The same applies to soft skills, such as “leadership” or “problem solver.” Employers should be able to glean that you possess them from your work experience.
And don’t list obvious skills or software, like Microsoft Word.
Use the skills section of your resume to highlight proficiencies that show you’re current with industry trends. So, for example, if you’re in sales, you’d want to include Salesforce or other up-to-date software on your resume.
Not sure what’s in demand today? Scour job listings for the skills employers are singling out.
Mistake No. 4: Your email address is vintage 1990s
“It’s ridiculous to think something as innocuous as aol.com at the top of the resume will knock you out of the running, without a further consideration, but there is a chance that it might,” says Dawn Bugni, a professional resume writer in Atkinson, N.C. “Is it fair? No. Does it happen? Yes.”
Instead of using your Hotmail or AOL address from the 90s, upgrade to a Gmail account.
Mistake No. 5: You make employers work to reach you
Hyperlinking your email address will make it easier for hiring managers to contact you for an interview.
Plus, include a link to your LinkedIn profile and any other social media accounts that you use professionally (read: not your personal Facebook page). That’ll save a prospective employer from having to search for you online.
Pro tip: Create a customized LinkedIn URL to reduce clutter on the page, Ward recommends. (Go to your profile page, then follow directions under “Edit public profile & URL.”)
If you’re in a creative field, such as graphic design, link directly to your online portfolio or work samples.
Mistake No. 6: You highlight a career objective
Still sporting an objective at the top of your resume? Get rid of it, says Bugni.
Rather than leading with what you’re looking for in a job, focus on your prospective employer’s needs by writing a career summary instead. This section should explain, briefly (think roughly 50 words), what skills and experience you bring to the table, and how you’ll add value to the company.
It should also have a headline describing your profession and level of experience.
Mistake No. 7: You call attention to your age
Although the Age Discrimination in Employment Act prohibits employment discrimination against persons 40 years or older, plenty of 50-plus workers sense that it can be a problem.
Many job seekers make the mistake of revealing their age by including their college graduation date on their resume, says Ward. The best approach is to simply leave it off.
That may not solve the problem, of course. In AARP’s survey, 44% of respondents who had applied for a new job in the past two years reported being asked their age or graduation year.
For tips on how to answer that and other ageist job interview questions, check out this story.
Mistake No. 8: You state the obvious
Including the phrase
“references available upon request” on a resume used to be commonplace. Not
today. Potential employers expect you to be able to provide references. You
don’t need to waste space on your resume saying so.
This article was found on https://www.theladders.com
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6 SIGNS OF A FAKE JOB OFFER - 02/15/2022
2. The person's name doesn't match the email address.
3. The reply-to email address is a totally different address than the examples above.
4. The website link points to a hosts.google.com address or some other non-specific address.
5. The job description talks about receiving packages and distributing them.
6. They ask for personal information up front. Such as SSN, Birth Date, etc.
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WORKPLACE BULLYING - 02/03/2022
I feel like there should be a hashtag like metoo for workplace bullying. In my case, the bullying went on for years. It was verbal only, but involved a person who sat next to me. I tried talking to my manager about it, and eventually I requested a different seat. My request was not denied, but I had to keep waiting to get another seat.
I'm a pretty strong-willed guy. I have had Drill Instructors in my face, and that didn't bother me. In the Army, it was institutionalized. It was never personal. As part of my job, clients would call and yell at me, but it was never personal. It was always situational.
My being abused at work went on for years. Also, no one else was immune from the abuse. Including our manager. When it happened in front of us, we would look at each other with stunned expressions wondering who was the driver of the truck that just hit us. I kept hoping that since the manager had experienced the abuse firsthand that he would do something - anything about it. That was not meant to be.
Still, I wasn't allowed to move. It takes time, I was told. Finally, I'd had enough and confronted the person. BIG MISTAKE. It was a loud confrontation that was overheard and later reported to my manager. At first, I figured now they would have to allow me to sit in another area. I did worry that I could be fired for losing my $#!+. NOPE. Instead we were told to work it out.
I worked it out by
blaming myself. Blaming the other guy was a waste of time. I also knew I couldn't
count on him to change. That comes from within. I knew if I was going to
survive this, I had to look inside myself for the answer.
I immediately went to work on my coping skills. I knew I had to train myself how to suck it up and take the punches. I posted reminders around my desk to maintain a positive attitude. I kept a daily log of how I responded and alternative ideas on how to respond to adversity. I used a lot of self-talk to learn from this situation. I read a lot of Tony Robbins and other self-help books and I used sticky notes to maintain my focus.
I realized that it takes 2 people to start a fight and all I had to do was refuse to walk into the ring.
So, I retreated inwards and did not respond to the other person. I sat next to him for the next several years, and after a short lull, his combative nature reasserted itself. I met all of these situations with silence. I turned away and let it roll off my back. When he wasn't being difficult, I maintained a facade of cordiality and professionalism, always aware that if I said the wrong thing he could turn in a minute.
Finally, after a few more years, he left the company. It was like a weight was lifted off my chest. I no longer had to live every day in fear of being bitten.
I know I'm stronger
for this. Ultimately, I realized my only blame in this was when I lost my
professional bearing. I try to keep the lessons from this as a reminder to
never let someone push my buttons again.
I also have to admit that I should have pushed harder for a solution before it came to a head. This was harassment plain and simple. But I think when it happened, I was not able to put a label to it.
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12/31/2021
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10 SIGNS OF A GOOD MANAGER - 12/15/20211. Hire smart dedicated people. Train them and then get out of their way.
2. Get them the tools & training they need to do their job.
3. Set high expectations & hold people accountable.
4. Protect them from harm or abuse.
5. Let them know when the screw up in a way that empowers them to do better next time.
6. Nurture each member individually, but foster a teamwork environment.
7. Stay involved while remaining in the background.
8. Look for and empower future leaders.
9. Create an environment of mutual trust and respect.
10. Allow them to grow. Even if it means letting them go.
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GOOD LEADERS ONLY PRAISE IN PUBLIC AND PUNISH IN PRIVATE - 12/10/2021
Recently, a friend told me about a conference call with upper management within her company. Her company was going through some changes in policy and many people were having problems with the changes. The company director talked in the conference call about the changes and that they weren't getting the buy in to the policy that he wanted to see. He invited people in the conference call to comment on problems they were having with the policy.
My friend asked about some of the specifics with the policy. At that point, rather than attempting to clarify a position, he opened up on her with both barrels. Right there. Right in the meeting. What could have been an open and frank conversation about company policy turned into a public flogging. Needless to say, no one else came forward with a comment or questions.
Make no mistake, when you beat up on someone in public, this is a form of workplace bullying. It's a sign of dominance and power. There is no valid reason to single out one person above all others. It only serves to belittle and degrade the person in the eyes of the team. It creates division where unity is needed. If you feel the need to do this, then you need to find another way to send a message.
In the above situation, my friend will never speak up again. Even in a situation where it might be helpful. Still other people will also remember the public execution and decline to speak up. This creates a vacuum between the manager and the people below him. What happens if the management can't find out when something is broken because everyone is afraid to speak?
One way this manager could have kept the meeting positive would be to mention someone doing things right and inviting people to seek that person out. Or have that person comment on the questions. This would have kept the focus on a solution without focusing on any one person.
_____________________________________________I’ve been reading about how you need to define your personal brand. I’ve come to the conclusion that no one really knows how to create a personal brand. Every generation changes the meaning of words in our language.
What do I know about personal branding? I see brands all-over-the-place. But I have no idea what my personal brand is supposed to be. Dictionary.com defines brand as “To promote (a particular product or company) by means of advertising and distinctive design.” I think that means that coke cans are Red with white lettering, while Pepsi cans are Blue with white lettering and a Red white & blue logo.
I’m looking for a job right now, so I’ll have to wear a tie. Yeah that doesn’t work either.
Maybe it’s the hat I wear, that’s a distinctive design. Right? No,
this won’t work either. I’m wearing camouflage and now you can’t see
me. Not much of a personal brand there.
Maybe I should advertise how smart I am. No. That won’t fool anybody.
When I do research, I find that how I deliver my brand needs to be different on each social media platform.
For instance, on Twitter, I have to describe my brand in 280 characters or less. I like the fact that you can’t pontificate or be long winded on there. But I see the trolls are running rampant.
On Instagram, I need to use photos and videos. I can also post stories. “One dark day on a stormy night, two dead boys got up to fight.” That’s probably not the story they’re talking about.
Facebook is a wide-open platform, but my brand isn’t really kittens, babies or political rhetoric. In fact, if you send me a political message from either the left or the right, I’m more liable to unfollow you or ignore you. I guess that means my brand isn’t tripe. Although I do like an occasional Kitten or baby video. Maybe my Facebook brand is Sous vide chicken, or soft Chocolate ice cream cones. Not really much of a personal brand there, but I do like how they taste.
I use LinkedIn to search for a job. I also like to network with people without all the drama of Facebook, but what defines my brand there? Unemployed Technical Support guy with 20 years of experience seeking employment. Blah blah blah. It’s really not a selling point on why someone should hire me.
I also think the idea is to create a personal brand that works for all platforms and is easily understood. I’ve been told that if you don’t have a personal brand, people will choose one for you. So, what should I choose for my personal brand? I understand there are some new terms for that as well. Thought leader. I think that’s just another term for blowhard. Someone who tells us what to do and how to think. Isn’t that something that politicians have been doing since time began?
I mentioned Technical Support previously, but that’s what I do for a living and it doesn’t feel right as a personal brand.
I like to take photos. Me and my wife Melanie like to travel all over country roads and take photos. That’s currently on hold until I find a job to pay for the gas to go places. It’s not really much of a personal brand. Just something I like to do.
In my mind, I think a personal brand is your personal mission statement. Brand just sounds less retentive than personal mission statement.
I guess, if I had to pick a personal brand. One that follows me
everywhere I go. I think I’d have to go with…. Well, I still can’t think
of anything.
So, I guess my brand is no brand at all.
HOW TO LEAD FROM THE FRONT - 1/30/2022
PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE. Be reachable. Touch base with everyone you work for and with weekly. Even if it's just to check the pulse of your team. If calling isn't possible, send an email and just let them know you're there. When I was mentoring a new hire, I made an effort to reach out daily. After we were officially done, I still would reach out on a weekly basis and ask how things are going and if they had any questions. Just making an effort like this allows people to reach out when they need.
DON'T PLAY KNOW IT ALL. Be open to learning new things. When someone is searching for an answer, help them find it. Help them use the tools they have. Google.com. Any internal knowledge base, or other team members.
BE HUMBLE. A good leader is focused on the team and not on himself. If your team did something well, focus the attention on them. Even if you were largely responsible, the credit should go to the full team. No one works alone. The deeds of the many, outweigh the deeds of the one.
BE LAVISH IN YOUR PRAISE. When someone on your team does well, tell them. Be proud of them and their accomplishments. Encourage people to grow.
MAKE CORRECTIONS IN PRIVATE. Public praise and private discipline. There is no situation where it's a good idea to discipline someone in public. People make mistakes, but there is no need to beat them up in public. If there is a team-wide issue, it's necessary to hold a meeting and train how to do something the right way. But there should never be a time to single someone out who messed up. That creates resentment and any learning from the discipline would be overshadowed.
DRINK The KOOL-AID. You must practice what the company preaches. Your team will follow your lead. When you do something that is company policy you must do so without reservation or negative discussion.
BE OPEN TO CHANGE. Embrace change as it is inevitable. Also, understand that today's agile companies change process and procedures all-the-time. You must be able to roll with these changes and help your team to cope and persevere.
LEARN AS YOU GO. Things change so fast, they aren't always mapped out 100%. You need to take a project or policy and make it your own. Write down lessons learned and draft your own game plan that works for you and your team.
STEP UP. Not all leaders are the official managers. A GOOD leader is someone who puts him or herself aside for the benefit of the team. They make it a priority to be at the forefront and help lift people up. Leaders set aside their ego in order to build a stronger group.
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JOB LOSS - THE MYTH, THE LEGEND, THE LIE - 11/20/2021
THE MYTH
I love the posts on Linkedin where people say things like “I got rejected and that made me excited.” What a load of Bovine Scatology. They want you to believe that they are a positive thinker and that nothing bothers them. That rejection is just another step to greatness.
THE REALITY
The reality is that it’s a soul crushing blow. Every. Single. Time. Getting fired or laid off hurts. It’s not business it’s personal. And everyone who tells you differently is just flat out lying.
THE SOLUTION
So, what do you do when you have the life crushed out of you? You give yourself time to grieve. It’s not healthy to bottle up your emotions. It’s ok to have a pity party for a while. It’s natural and it’s healthy. Feeling pain is normal and you need to let yourself feel it.
THE PROCESS
Once you’ve gotten that out of your system, it’s time to figure out what’s next. Pull out the resume and dust it off. Then edit it and add new skills and new titles held. And then finally put yourself out there and move on. Find that next job and that next challenge.
Sometimes we need to tear it all down just to build it up again.
THE CONCLUSION
It’s really that simple. We all have losses. We all have setbacks. But how we bounce back is what defines us. It doesn’t make us stronger or even give us a thicker skin. It just teaches us that we can survive adversity. All life is struggle. It hurts and it forces us to change when we don’t want to. All loss hurts, and the minute we allow ourselves to feel that pain, the sooner we can start to heal.
THE QUESTION
What is your process? How do you help yourself move on after a job loss. I'd like to hear your stories.
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However some worker experiences suggests that this may not be true. As an experiment recently, a worker in the Florida job market tried to see how easy it really is to find a job. He applied for 2 jobs a day over 30 days for a total of 60 jobs. He found that he only booked 1 interview. Other job seekers are finding the same thing. That nothing has changed.
If you decide it's time for a change, make sure you start your search early. Get your resume updated and out there before you turn in your notice. In fact, make sure you have a confirmed offer before you turn in that notice. They say that it's easier to find a new job when you already have a job.
One of the things that I have seen is that no matter where you go you will never have enough training to do your job effectively. You can whine or cry all you want, but there are no jobs in the world where they can train you 100% on how to do your job. You have got to learn to be flexible in how you learn your job.
This may sound harsh, but companies don't have the time nor the resources to train people 100%. In this agile market place, other companies will beat yours because they hire people who are more willing to do what it takes to do the job. If you can't keep up, you will be left behind.
IF YOU DON'T WRITE IT DOWN, THE LESSON WON'T STICK. If you do not have a way to document the things you learn, then it's like you never learned it. It doesn't matter if you put it on paper, or use an application like Microsoft OneNote to document a process, the end result is the same. You will forget details. Also, this is the time to frame the information in a way that you will understand. Put it in your own words.
If you wait for the company to create a knowledge-base resource, you are wasting time. Even if there already is one, it can't possibly cover every situation.
USE THE COMPANY RESOURCES. You need to know the way to the "library." If the resource is on line, then learn your way around it. Also, if it's not adequate, suggest updates and submit ideas to improve it, but do not wait for that eventuality. Use google as a resource. Sometimes answers are out in someone's blog.
IF THERE ARE NO RESOURCES, BUILD YOUR OWN. Become the sponge grabbing every tidbit of info that you can. Put it together in language that you can understand.
WORK AS A TEAM. Another great resource is the other people on your team. If you need a mentor or mentors, then find them. Look for the people who make it look easy and use them as a resource. If you can, try to be a resource for others as well.
THE MANUAL IS OBSOLETE BEFORE IT GOES TO PRESS. I can't tell you how many times I've taken training for a new product update only to find that the actual process is not the same as I saw in training. Sometimes a rollout will be partially delayed and a feature covered won't be there. Sometimes, programmers find a better way to implement a process.
Finally, I wanted to talk about training because people seem to get almost paralyzed. I've seen entire department meetings devoted to whining about training, where other things could be talked about. I've always had a take no prisoners approach to learning my job. When new products came out, I was one of the first people to jump in and learn the product. It wasn't about being a brown nose. I just didn't want to make any excuses about not being able to do my job.
When my support group had to learn ReportSmith I dove in head first. I took the 2 classes offered on how to write the reports. After that was done, I spent a few days writing practice reports and taking them to a mentor for review. I updated documents I had with the exact syntax. Then for the next 2 weeks, I requested that I only get ReportSmith calls. I knew I had to learn it, so I was determined to dive right in the deep end.
ReportSmith is a reporting tool for SQL & Oracle databases. It's a complex application that requires understanding scripting and inputting the database queries.You can either become paralyzed with fear, or you can learn to work the system.
If you get laid off or even fired for cause, you are going to be upset. It can be easy to just rip out that social media post or talk smack about the company and/or boss that you previously worked for. However. there are many valid reasons that you should let the anger go.
1. Holding onto anger and lashing out can make you bitter person to be around.
2. A job loss may be an opportunity to find something better. Look forward not back.
3. If you have friends or colleagues still with the company, it can be hurtful to them.
4. What goes around comes around. And not to the company - to you. Consider that a prospective or new employer finds your rant. That could lead to you not getting a dream job or later being fired.
5. Ranting doesn't help you feel better. Wallowing in misery just leaves you miserable.
6. The company you just left doesn't care.
BE A MENTOR - 10/10/2021
EVERYONE starts out with nothing when they start a new job. We all have our basic knowledge and experience, but every single company is different and no one is going to come into a job and start making it work from the first day.
I once read an article that mentions that it takes up to 2 years for a person to really be effective at their job. Believe it!
So, how do you help someone to become an effective member of your team?
BRING SOMETHING. Have source material ready. This goes back to an article that I wrote about using Microsoft OneNote to take notes. I copy the notebooks to new users. I've also copied them for other team members who may need a little step up. Don't hoard your knowledge. SHARE IT. Export your browser favorite Web pages and have them import.
COMMON TOOLS. Take some time in order to show them how to use helpful applications. If you dial into client computers, show them how to use the software. Give them tips and tricks about seeing the window full screen and how to copy files. Most likely, you've developed shortcuts to using CRM software. Share the shortcuts and tips/tricks.
HAVE PATIENCE. These guys are going to turn to you for guidance and experience. But they are also going to see how you react to stressful situations. Be like Yoda and have infinite patience.
BE ENCOURAGING. if you tell someone they can do something and then follow up with tips and ideas, they are more likely to succeed.
BE CORRECTIVE. Newby's are going to make mistakes. Don't throw them into the water and expect them to swim. Help them see their mistakes and give them the proper procedure. Don't use language that belittles.
John, our company policy doesn't allow us to do it that way. Let's talk about how we should do it.
CRITIQUE OFTEN. If you're in a call center environment like I was, I made sure to critique every call. after the call. Even if it was to say NICE JOB GRASSHOPPER. Take notes during the call so you can recap. Remind them what is the best tool to use for that call or situation. Point out ways that they could have gotten to a solution faster or better questions they can ask clients so they can determine the problem sooner.
HAVE FUN. Being a mentor can be fun. It changes your routine and gives you a chance to share what you do with someone who will understand what you go through every day. Share jokes about the call you just did or a funny memory that you have about a situation.
All of these are just a tip of the iceberg when it comes to being a mentor. You're going to find that even after your time teaching that new hire, you will probable still have some contact with them. I personally remote mentored several people. Even after the formal mentoring period was over, I still made an effort to reach out and ask how they were doing. ALL OF THEM. Because I felt responsible to make sure that their experience with the company was the best possible experience. I wanted them to succeed.
IF YOU HAVE MORE THAN 100 EMAILS IN YOU INBOX, YOU'RE FAILING - 10/10/2021
I belong to message groups where people are proud of their bloated email message boxes. Those people scare me. The idea of what they are failing to do or respond to boggles the mind. I sent an email to someone a few months ago and just received an answer today. It was a a fairly benign conversation, but the slowness of the response proves that this person has too many messages.
You need to organize your approach to email or things - important things are going to get missed. Here's a list of the types of emails you get and how you should respond.
From immediate friends and family - Answer within 24-48 hours - Delete original
From people that can be answered by others - forward to the correct person with a note to the original person to follow up with the right person - Delete Original.
An email that needs research by you - Add to your calendar and move email contents there.
Email that needs a quick answer - answer and delete original.
Email that you need to keep track of the conversation - create folder under your inbox and move the message there after you've replied. You can also move your sent messages for that topic to that folder.
Important misc emails that you just want to save for their future value - Move them to onenote and file under topics there.
Emails from distribution lists. File in onenote, delete originals and duplicates. Reduce distribution list membership to only relevant groups.
The higher you rise within an organization, the higher the number of emails that you receive In my previous job, I received up to 30 emails a day. I kept my inbox below 100 by being proactive and having a specific ritual of moving them out. Because of that ritual, emails got quick responses and others that were just informational tech info got filed into onenote as needed. Duplicates were easily recognized and deleted. Bosses didn't have to chase me down for answers and my clients were quickly and efficiently serviced.
One thing I do not do is drop everything when I get an email. I set specific times throughout the day to check in, but otherwise stayed available for all other calls/purposes.
VETERANS, DON'T LET PRIDE STOP YOU FROM ASKING FOR HELP GETTING A JOB - 10/10/2021
After you leave the service, the urge to make it on your own is real. Fight that urge. You worked as part of a team in the military, and no one expects you to go it alone as a civilian. You can still be your own man or woman and get help from industry experts.
There are entire companies made up of former service members who are willing to help you find a good job for yourself. Many of them are free or no cost to you. They understand where you're coming from, and can help you chart where you're going next.
It's embarrassing when someone thanks you for your service. You never quite know what to say. But this isn't about that. The pain of separation is real. You go from being part of a tightnit group and knowing what to expect every day; to on your own the day you sign your walking papers and really not knowing jack.
Another suggestion I have for you if you are missing the team vibe is that your local volunteer fire department or ambulance corps, or Civil Air Patrol would love to have someone with your discipline and team mentality. The fire department will train you and so will most ambulance corps. These groups are desperate for members. They can never get enough, and trust me - you will find the same group gestalt there as you did in the military. And fighting fires and car wrecks is also a combat high.
If you want to pay it forward, become a scoutmaster or a big brother/big sister. You have more positive life experience than kids in these programs have ever seen. It's not about discipline. It's about showing a better path.
Soldiers, Marines, Sailors & Airmen - be well.
JOB NETWORKING FOR INTROVERTS - 10/10/2021
I am an introvert. I hate large crowds and noisy places. I don't go to bars or large parties. I don't have a ton of friends that I hang out with. In fact I'm rather boring. Most nights, you will either find me working out at the gym or at home in front of the TV. Weekends are all spent the same way.
One other thing about introverts is we are always in our own head thinking about things and analyzing things. I used this ability at a recent family party in order to engage a few people more effectively. In the book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, it suggests asking people about themselves. So in my head, I worked on what questions to ask. That started conversations for me that I could expand upon.
The best way I've found is to ask questions that require more than 1 word answers. Instead of asking someone how is it going, ask them about what they are doing. What projects or hobbies are they working on. Ask them about their company or the school they are going to.
The idea isn't to make small talk. How's the weather is stupid. Look outside. Instead, make big talk. The more you get them to talk about themselves, the less you will have to talk about yourself. Make the conversation about them.
SOFT SKILLS - 10/10/2021
I'm not sure why they are called soft skills. To me these are common sense life skills. I call them no brainer skills. They are things you need to learn in order to be an effective employee for ANY company.
Listening, communication, team work are all part of the soft skill spectrum. These are not skills that are taught in official school classes. They are things that you must teach yourself.
The main way to learn these skills is to think about how you are doing something. For listening skills, practice truly listening to the person who is speaking. When possible take notes.
When you are communicating, make sure you speak at the listener's level. Don't use techno-babble and jargon to show how smart you are. Speak to them as a person.
Teamwork starts with having everyone participate in a solution. Don't shut people out. They just may surprise you.
All of these skills take practice. Make yourself learn them. They will help you outside of work as well.